


take my mind (and take my pain)

by thedarknesswithin (babylxxrry)



Series: all that glitters is not gold [3]
Category: Pentatonix, Superfruit
Genre: Angst, Character Study, M/M, sort of lol - Freeform, there's more plot this time but still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 02:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10066637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babylxxrry/pseuds/thedarknesswithin
Summary: mitch just wants scott to be happy.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xxCat1989xx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxCat1989xx/gifts).



> whoA hi i'm back with iceland pt3 and there's more angst but i prOMISE it'll have a happy ending... it's just a matter of when :D  
> this is also drifting further and further from canon so keep that in mind pls and thank you  
> edit: 11:54pm same day-- a lot of people have been reading this while listening to ed sheeran's divide and apparently it will make you sadder so that's a warning :P  
>  
> 
> lol there's more plot this time have fun

Mitch packs on autopilot.

_Fold. Stack. Fold. Stack. Fold. Stack._

_Unzip._

_Stack. Stack. Stack._

_Tuck._

_Stack. Stack._

_Tuck._

_Click. Click._

_Zip._

_Lock._

His room is empty, clean, the way it was when he came. The last thing he needs to do before he leaves is strip the beds. Really, he could just leave the sheets in a pile on the floor, but he’s not that type of person. In theory, he could leave the other bed for Scott and Shawn to do, but he’s already doing it for his own bed, so why not?

_Tug._

_Swish._

_Tug._

_Swish._

_Fold. Fold._

_Tug. Tug. Tug._

_Swoosh._

_Fold._

_Untuck. Untuck. Untuck. Untuck._

_Fold._

_Stack. Stack. Stack. Stack._

_Repeat._

When he’s done, the beds are bare and each has its pile of linens stacked neatly at the foot. He looks around, makes sure he hasn’t left stray socks or his charger or something important like that.

It’s time.

Scott had offered to come with him, and he’d agreed without thinking because that’s what they’ve always done, right?

He has to keep reminding himself that things are different now. He can’t do things the way they’ve always done it, because things are different and now he’s acutely aware of how much it hurts him to see Scott happy with someone else. It’s okay, though, he keeps thinking, because if Scott’s happy, that’s all that matters. That’s all that matters, isn’t it? He just wants Scott to be happy, and if that means they’ll never be anything more than friends, Mitch is okay with that. He has to be okay with that, because it’s not like he _can’t_.

Mitch goes to Scott and Shawn’s door, raising a fist to knock before he hears a burst of laughter and brings his hand down. Scott’s happy.

_Don’t ruin his mood, Mitchy, be a good girl and just leave a note. He’ll find it. Your car’s here anyways, and you need to get going before you miss your flight._

He scribbles a quick note and leaves it on the kitchen counter – _Scotty, I love you and I’ll miss you. Be safe and come home soon xxxxxx._

He closes the door quietly behind him and loads his own luggage into the trunk of the car and then they’re off to the airport. The driver seems to sense his mood and, thankfully, doesn’t talk the whole trip, though, she does send him a couple of concerned glances near the beginning of the ride. Mitch smiles- well, _grimaces_ them off and turns his thoughts inward.

He thinks about the times they could have been more than just friends. There are countless moments like that. Countless times where he could have just leaned in and closed the gap between their lips, but that’s not them. They wouldn’t risk their friendship like that. Countless times he could have “professed his undying love” or some rom-com shit like that, but that’s not them. Their love is platonic, at least from the side that really matters, and yes, there’s undying love, but it’s a warm, soft love, not the cliché passionate love that burns hot and dangerous but dies quickly.  Countless times Mitch had imagined what it’d be like if they were to be together forever, maybe married with a child of their own, but that’s not them. It’s not Scott. Scott loves his parties, his alcohol, his flirting too much to settle down with someone who’s routine and a bit of a hopeless romantic like Mitch is. Mitch loves to drink and flirt and blow kisses and sass people, but at the heart of it, he’s got very basic needs, amongst which is someone steady and constant to love and to be loved by.

That person is Scott, and Mitch doesn’t even try to lie to himself anymore.

They arrive at the airport and Mitch thanks the driver, presses the fare and a considerably-sized tip into her hand, and heads to check his luggage. He gets through security without incident and finds a quieter corner near his gate to wait the hour he has before his plane boards.

He wants to text Scott, let him know that he’s safe and he’s at the airport, all of it, but he resists the urge. Scott hasn’t contacted him, not a single text or snap, and it’s okay. It’s okay if it means Scott’s still happy with Shawn doing whatever they were up to when he left.

He flips between Instagram and Tumblr for the hour, grabbing a hummus and chips snack pack from one of those airport mini-marts. It’s not like he can’t afford to buy one of the fancier snacks on the flight, but he really just needs to sleep on the plane. The time will pass faster and it’ll keep his mind off Scott.

He takes his Xanax before he boards, tossing it back with a gulp of water and wincing. He hates pills, as much as he needs them to help control his anxiety. He slips his headphones on after the usual safety spiel and starts the playlist he and Scott created specifically for flights. It’s a mix of slow, calm songs, and Mitch loves it. It’s got Scott’s trademark favorites along with some of his own choice. Something that’s new is the blurred Scott-talking audio from the video that channel had uploaded a couple nights ago, and yeah, Mitch does know how to rip audio off YouTube, but that’s something literally every music tech student knows how to do.

Mitch isn’t really surprised when he dozes off to Scott’s voice in his ears again, and when he thought sleeping would keep his mind off Scott, he was wrong.

His dreams are plagued with Scott. Scott laughing, Scott teasing, Scott flirting, Scott Scott ScottScottScott.

Mitch is never particularly refreshed after he sleeps on the plane, but this time, he’s straight exhausted. He takes the familiar route to the baggage claim, and even though he knows the route like the back of his hand, he finds himself feeling just the smallest bit lost without Scott at his side. He texts Scott that he’s arrived and turns his phone off.

He calls an uber and gets home and leaves his bag in the door, making a beeline for their rooms. He doesn’t go to his own room, though. He bypasses his door and heads to Scott’s. He strips down to his underwear and finds one of Scott’s worn, abandoned shirts. It’s so soft and just skims the middle of his thighs and he slides into Scott’s bed. It’s softer than his own mattress and it’ll probably throw out his back but he ignores it all in favor of playing the Scott audio track without headphones. He burrows into the covers, letting Scott’s scent and Scott’s voice wash over him, and he lets himself cry for the first time since Iceland.

He doesn’t do this a lot, doesn’t cry about things generally, and especially not when Scott’s not here to help him afterwards, but he can’t help it now. He can’t help the first tear that runs sideways down to his ear and soaks into Scott’s pillow and he can’t help the way his lip trembles like the stupid cliché he is and he can’t help when the sobs start tearing their way out of his body, each breath ripping through his chest and clawing up his throat. He can’t get a full breath because there’s a vice around his chest and he can only cry harder, each and every inhale like sandpaper and the paired exhale choking him on the way out, and he misses Scott _so goddamn much_. He feels like he’s falling and there’s no one to catch him and he’s spinning and spinning and spinning and suddenly he doesn’t know where he is or who he is but all he knows is that he’s crying and he needs Scott so bad but he can’t bother Scott, can’t worry him like this and he’s still crying, still choking on each breath, trying to breathe but failing and he wants to call Scott but he doesn’t because Scott doesn’t need to be burdened with Mitch when he can’t even tell him what’s wrong.

It feels like forever before Mitch can actually breathe again, rough, raspy breaths that still hurt his throat, and he hasn’t really stopped crying so his eyes are red and puffy and sore.

_Don’t think about Scott._

That’s impossible, though, even though it’d help him with the whole, y’know, crying thing. Mitch is desperately, impossibly in love with his best friend, and there’s no way that’s changing. He’s going to stay in love whether he wants it or not, and if that means more tears because Scott’s happy with Shawn, so be it.

All he wants is for Scott to be happy.

That’s all.

Surely it’s not too much to ask that he doesn’t suffer, too?

(it is, but if scott’s happy, mitch will deal with this gut-wrenching pain that makes him want to cry too much because he just want his scotty to be happy.)

It’s okay if his sunshine leaves him hanging. It’s okay if he has to fight off the darkness alone. It’s okay if the darkness threatens to pull him down with it. It’s all okay as long as Scott’s happy.

That’s all he wants.

 

 

 

-fin.

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment or a kudos if you cried bc that is my goal.
> 
> thanks for reading and idk when pt4 is coming but #soon, hopefully. no promises.
> 
> edit 3.14.17: title changed to take my mind (and take my pain) from that's the time it'd take to fix my heart


End file.
